December 2005 Archives

He hears hairs growing deep in his damp skin.

My heart is pounding like I swallowed Buddy Hackett 
--Me, I think.

Deja Vu

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Can you have it at a surprise party?

Today's Cab

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Today's cab had two air fresheners in front of the heating vents. When the air blew so did the warmed up scent. It's a shame the cab had only four windows to roll down. The scent was so sticky sweet it felt like I was sitting in a Pez dispenser.

Adens Abound

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Did they pass a name quota law or something in Tennessee? Every sticky child running between tables here seems to be named Aden. I know this because their mothers can't unwedge themselves from their chairs so they just yell after Aden, Aden, Aden. Maybe they get a discount here for plowing sticky buns into these open Aden mouths.

Packing Ham

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Two police officers will spend their day directing lines of honking traffic in and out of the Honeybaked Ham parking lot.

John Coltrane

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Yes, yes it's wonderful to hear him live at the Half Note but after about twenty minutes I'm wondering when he's going to stop tuning up and start playing.

Panera Bread

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Has high tables for editing and typing while standing!

Studies say if you work while standing you're 10% smarter. Now if they just had people who would do the writing for you. Everyone who works here only gets flour in the keyboard.
I am trying to finish my book in the Starbucks on Kingston Pike but that's not going to happen if it keeps smelling in here like wet dog.
Tape: Narrated by Alec Baldwin
Him: Did you hear him say Aled Baldwin
Me: That's Alec Baldwin
Him: Is he good or no?
Me: He's a fine narrator
Him: Will he eat someone and chew their bones?
Me: No, I don't think so.
Him: I wouldn't like him if he did that.


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When the books say the cough will sound like a seal they're not kidding. In the middle of the night when it wakes you it's a very odd noise to hear from your child down the hall. And it's hell finding a ready bucket of fish at that hour.

I woke up

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his morning wearing a beard of sheets.
My son and I sat at the National Gallery and looked at Daniel in the Lion's Den. He counted the lions, the skull fragments, femurs and other bones. He couldn't find one character though.

Him: "Is God behind him?"
Me: "Daniel sure hopes so."

Saw John Roberts last night and Antonin Scalia. They look strange out of their robes. It was like seeing your highschool teacher at the pizza joint. The chiffon suited them both though, I thought.


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Overheard by a friend at a Washington party:

"My dad's security agents have a crush on me."


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Teams of men with shovels arrived at the house up the hill to shovel the walk and drive. Then to the next house they went. They skipped over ours. They really work fast. Faster than I could change into something suitable for running into the street to employ them.
Sea Gulls are fighting for scraps of food. There is no body of water near Dupont Circle. How do they know to come so very far? Do they just wake up in the morning and chance it ? Or is it the hip vibe?